Approaching Friends and Family – WHY? (Part 1)

Why would we want to?

Part 1

Approaching friends and family with new opportunities, sales of products or services can certainly be emotionally challenging but also rewarding. However, not always in the way we expect.  Yes, some will indeed say yes to you, just because of your relationship with them. But, the so-called “soft market” usually offers more in the way of beneficial experience than financial opportunity. It can still be an excellent way to take advantage of quick start programs, or just get your “sea-legs” going in your new business.

Once you have reviewed and pitched all your friends and family, you will hopefully still have your self-esteem still intact, but you should now have your pitch down, know more of what you are doing and be more ready for the general public.

Because friends and family mean something to you, emotionally your mind may create unnecessary barriers.  If you are a smart student you will realize the opportunity here is more than a few laydown sales – it’s the chance to slay some of the dragons that will otherwise block your road to success unless you learn to deal with them honestly and directly.  With friends and family, you have the opportunity to learn FAR, FAR more than just your pitch, how to close the sale, or process their payment.

The juiciest and most powerful lessons are dealing with your feelings of rejection, fear, self-doubt, control, and expectations. Unless you are already a seasoned pro, you will need to face these challenges directly, until you emotionally reside in a place of courage born from experience and confidence.

Until then you may find yourself somewhat emotionally vulnerable and reactive to rejection and disappointment. Such emotions can be like a neurotoxin and paralyze your motivation to continue.

You will need to prove something to yourself before you see that the pattern of trying and failing is ACTUALLY “trying and winning”. It’s literally only a slight shift of perception but it makes all the difference. In the sales world, it is what is referred to as “the numbers game”.  Failing is a key part of the numbers game.  Even the best sports team makes mistakes, loses games, and even tournaments.  To win, you must; 1) stay in the game, and 2) learn as much as you can from your mistakes, 3) apply what you learn.  It really is that simple.  Negative self-talk will ruin your game if you allow it.

What comes next isn’t new information. However, if you breeze over it without letting it sink in its value and power will be lost for you.  The following is practical advice that with help you move past your fears of working with friends and family, and will also help you with everyone else to follow.

Direct Advice In Dealing with Friends and Family


  1. Toughen your emotional skin now. Your rejections and disappointments will benefit you for the rest of your life IF you can learn from them and not emotionally resist the lessons you are being offered.
  2. Learn to not take any rejection personally. This is especially true of your friends and family after approaching them with a business or sales offering.  “Some will, some won’t, so what? Next”. This is a general rule that applies to ALL your conversion efforts.  That little quote is the formula of a winning attitude that frees you from disappointment and resentment toward anyone who rejects your offerings. Likely they are saying no to whatever product, service, or opportunity you offered, not you. If you are feeling rejection – your insecurities are momentarily in charge, not your strengths. Recognize it for what it is.
  3. Be careful with your expectations. They can come across as pressure. It’s so easy to get ahead of ourselves and then be disappointed or even upset that they didn’t say yes to our offer.  Regardless of who the person is to you, or what this one sale might have meant to you – it’s still “just one”, out of how many? You will by far get more rejections than accepted offers. Know this, and accept it. Shake off your rejections and move on.  Be honest with yourself, and ask yourself what you learned from each experience?  If you learned from it, then you gained more education that will help you reach your goals.  Remember you are still learning. Do your best. Move on. Next!

(Continued in Part 2)

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Melissa J Waters

Melissa J Waters

Melissa Waters is our Global Ambassador who helps with company PR and our Senior Blogger. Melissa is a retired counselor with years of entrepreneurial enterprise experience under her belt. We rely on Melissa for her broad experience and good-natured sense of humor!

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